Just Sayin'

You know what's funny, I bet most people research more about the next car they are going to buy than they do about the birth and parenting choices they are going to make... 

...But when you bring up a topic of parenting, suddenly everyone has an opinion, more so than if you bought the cheapest piece of crap car. 

And they will offer it even without asking, whether it's where you should birth, how often to give your baby a bath, how your baby should sleep, when to start on solids, whether or not to vaccinate, how to deal with rashes, how long you should breastfeed for, whether or not to use a pacifier, whether to use a carrier or a wrap, or  what kind of diapers to use.

Do you know how many different cars are on the road today?

Probably the same number of parenting choices. 

So guess what. THERE IS NO RIGHT OR WRONG ANSWER.

Even if you would choose something else for your child, guess what again: 

IT'S NOT YOUR CHILD.  

So when someone comes along who actually DID research more about their parenting choices than what car they drive, why the heck are you still offering them advice when they don't ask for it?  They more than likely already know more about your argument than you do.

So unless advice is wanted, just keep driving, stop honking when no laws are broken. 

And just for the record, I drive a Chevy. So bring it. 

But mine doesn't look this good... hope no one says anything...

Heather's Story

This mom reached out to me on the internet, and her story is worth the sharing.

 "...I myself am a mother to a quirky little 6 year old, Lily. She is my only child, and my whole world (I’m sure you know the feeling!)  The very beginning of Lily’s life was a little more turbulent than I would have hoped for. When Lily was just 31/2 months old, I was diagnosed with Mesothelioma; a type of cancer that kills 90-95% of those who have it.  As I’m sure you can imagine, the first thing that came to mind when I was diagnosed was my baby girl and how I wasn't going to be able to watch her grow up..."

When you think you have it bad, stop thinking! It can always be worse. What I love about this mom is she has turned her experience into a story of guidance, inspiration, and hope.

Learn of her story for yourself by clicking here for her blog.  You'll be glad you did.

Sleepy Time

After Kaden's bath last night, he got very tired and went to bed (early!). While Chris and I were watching some Lost downstairs, we heard Kaden fussing on the baby monitor. When I checked on Kaden, he seemed to be half asleep/ half awake and wouldn't fall back to sleep all the way. So I brought him downstairs, thinking that he was done sleeping. Once I brought him to the couch to chill with us, he zonked out completely.  But every now and then, he would open his eyes to make sure that I was still holding him, and once he realized that, he would relax and go back to sleep. I was going to get up and clean the kitchen once the episode was over...

Sorry, kitchen, I'm too busy being a mommy. 

Dishes can wait.

Re: Home Births Are Stupid

I recently posted a picture on Facebook stating some sad, but serious facts about the cesarean section trend in the United States. This sparked some expected comments from friends who have received c-sections, which is fine. But I also discovered two unexpected, rude, and uncalled for comments from an acquaintance and her husband. This is what she had to say:

Ouch, right? I will admit, this hurt for a few days. So many friends came to my rescue while I was still trying to make sense of it. I let others on Facebook continue on in the thread, defending my birth choice, while I stewed over what I wanted to say to her, and how I was going to say it. So many thoughts went through my head. Since her attack was so emotional, I wanted so much to be emotional back... but I knew that it would only do more harm than good. I decided to take this opportunity to share with her almost everything I knew about the choice I made, and then some. So I wrote her a nice long, cordial message.

I posted this message for all to see because I want it to stop.Whether they or silent or spoken, I want all the harsh and ignorant judgments to stop. I want as many people as possible to see inside the point of view of one mother who decided to do a home birth. I know that Heather's comments are probably how most people feel towards home birth, but they choose to say it with a little more tact.  However, I think if you open your eyes, you will find that there are more of us than you think.  So to anyone who still thinks that home births are stupid, I direct you here:

Heather, 

You comment confused me a little because it seemed as though I have hurt or offended you or Jordan.  Believe me, that was far from my intentions.  Either way, I am sorry if my post struck a personal chord with you, and I am sorry if I somehow hurt your family.  I frequently post birth and pregnancy tidbits of information, and it is not intended to offend, but to raise awareness.  My overall goal is for every mom to be able to make the most informed choices about pregnancy and childbirth as possible, and this is why I make these posts.  I have frequently posted about how I am grateful to be living in a time where our medical technology is so far advanced, and when they are used in the correct circumstances, they can absolutely save lives.  It doesn't matter to me whether or not women choose home birth, a natural birth in a hospital, or a cesarean.  As long as they know that there are many options out there, and that they have the ability to make informed choices, that's all that matters.  

I want you to know that 3 years ago I thought exactly like you do. I told Chris that I wanted to have an epidural in the hospital and everything.  However, when we began to try to have a kid, I took upon myself the responsibility to research every birth option possible to make sure that I was making the best pregnancy and birth decisions for our family.  We prayed and pondered about our decisions a lot, and I am confident that the decisions we made were confirmed by the Lord. 

There are some things in your comment that I would also like to address. (Again, I don't want you to think that I am personally attacking you, you and Jordan are very nice people and you have been great friends to Chris in the past, and I have no reason to dislike you or offend you).  I want to begin with the very last thing you said, because I think once I address that, it will give everything else I say a little more credibility.

1) "You should do more research."

As I said, once Chris and I began preparing to have a child, I began my research. I have been researching every and all aspects (not just the one I chose) of pregnancy, birth, and postpartum for a little over two years now. It has become a hobby for me, and I am still researching it, even after Kaden was born. I have read over a dozen books, watched 3 birth documentaries, read countless articles and statistics, attended 3 childbirth classes (one of which was by someone who teaches in a hospital), I am a member of 7 online birth groups and am connected with over 1,000 birth professionals and women who have had every type of birth imaginable, and I am in communication with them daily. I have helped about 8 women with their own pregnancy and birth research, watched countless birth videos of all types, and I have kept a pregnancy and birth blog for almost a year now.  It seems like you have done your own research to help form your own strong opinion on the matter, so if you think I have missed a scope of research, or if you know of any other research that I can get my hands on to further my ongoing education on the matter, I would accept it with open arms. So please share!

2) "I'm pretty sure that most women and children died from giving birth before our medicine was advanced"

If more women and children were dying than were being born, our population would not have increased over the ages, but the human race would have died off.  So logically, most women actually had healthy babies throughout history.  I personally believe that Heavenly Father created the female body to be fully capable in its natural and intended form to be able to birth children. Women were not created to have defective uterus's.  However, I do believe that Heavenly Father also blessed our time with medical advances that gives us the capability to aid mothers and children who truly need help, cesareans are one of these advances.  

3) "Why put your life and child's life at risk for selfish reasons"

What is selfish about wanting my baby to have the best birth possible? Research and prayer have told me that home birth was the healthiest and best option for me.  The fact that the United States spends the most money on healthcare than any other nation, and is 46th in the world for infant mortality, with 98% of births occurring in the hospital, logic would suggest that there is something wrong with the United States birthing trend as a whole.  Statistics aside, most people picture midwives to be these really old ladies who just come over to catch a baby. This does not do them justice.  Midwives are required to go to nursing school, and are then required to go to an additional two years of special schooling in order to be state certified nurse midwives.  They come prepared with a lot of medical equipment, and are constantly monitoring both mother and baby with their medical instruments throughout labor and birth.  In fact, after I birthed Kaden, I nearly fainted.  The midwives hooked me up to an IV  and I was fine.  Midwives are trained to help prevent a lot of birth complications that occur in the hospital, and are trained to know when it is necessary to transport the mother to the hospital if necessary.  Most midwives make sure that the mothers are within a reasonable distance (10-15 minutes) to a hospital before labor at home is considered.  In the event of a medical transport, it could take 15 minutes to go to the hospital, on the way there, the midwife will contact the hospital and tell them to have an operating room ready by the time they get there.  If a cesarean was necessary at the hospital, it could take around 30 minutes to prepare mom for surgery.  Therefore, the amount of time lost in the event of an emergency at home is zero, and no added risk was done to the mother.   

4) "Your baby could have died from being in such a stressful labor for such a long period of time."

I need to begin this segment by telling you that there was absolutely nothing stressful about my birth whatsoever. I created a birth plan that would allow for peace the entire time.  I was completely relaxed and in tune with my body, and I had people ready to help when I needed them.  I had studied natural labor and birthing techniques to help me experience the least amount of pain.  I was able to labor with absolutely zero fear and with complete confidence and faith. Giving birth to my son was one of the most spiritual experiences of mine and Chris's life.  Kaden entered the  world perfectly calm, and Chris and I grew closer together.  There were no bright lights, no cold metal objects, no strangers rushing around, no one talking over me or telling me what to do.  The lights were dim, everyone was silent, I caught my baby and brought him right up to my chest, right where they were intended to be immediately after birth. 

My labor wasn't long, either.  Natural labors, from early labor to when the baby is born, will spend on average between 12 and 36 hours in labor... and that is normal and expected.  My labor was only 22 hours from the very first Braxton Hix contraction to the very last one, and I was only pushing for 30 minutes.  To me, though, I felt as though the entire experience was only 5 hours.  When the female body is left to do what she was designed to do, and in her own unique way, she will experience the least amount of pain possible, and in the least amount of time possible. Only when she is intervened and interrupted will her natural instincts shut down and her hormones halt, and her body will not flow in the rhythm it was designed to.  As a result, she will need more interventions to help her body along, and many times this ends up in a cesarean birth. So no, my body was in the right place and was doing the right thing for me and my baby, and I wouldn't change anything about my birth.   

5) "You wanted to be all macho and do a home birth"

I wrote a blog post on this very subject: http://thebatemanbabyblog.blogspot.com/2011/06/why-yes-im-planning-on-home-birth.html

All I can add to what my post already says  is that your statement is nothing more than an incorrect assumption, and frankly, to have someone who doesn't know me tell me that I love myself more than my baby is one of the most disgusting and insulting things that anyone could say to me, or any mother for that matter.  I would lay my life down for my baby, as I'm sure you would. I chose a home birth first and foremost because I wanted a peaceful experience surrounded by people who love me and believe in me so that I could focus on my body.  If you really knew me, you would know that I had my baby's health at the top of my list of interests the entire time.  

In the hospital, women are told to lay down on their backs.  With the exception of hanging upside down, this is the worst possible position she could be in to birth naturally.  This puts pressure on the pelvis, reducing its expansion capability by 30% (making it much harder to push baby out), and puts pressure on the artery in your back that feeds your heart and the placenta, which could lead to lowered heart rate for you and baby, which could lead to a cesarean, which could have been avoided if the mother was allowed to labor the way she wanted. Laying on the back in labor is simply a modern medical trend that only benefits the OB so they can catch the baby easier. 

Also, a note to Jordan: Sorry, I should have been more clear with that other picture of the U.S. being ranked #34. Yes, I am aware that there are more than 34 countries in the world.   The reason that they all weren't included is because that was the list of industrialized nations.  It would be unfair to compare the United States healthcare with 3rd world countries for obvious reasons.  However, that table was created in 2008, so I wanted to find a more recent one with all of the countries included, and I found this: https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2091rank.html

In this table (created in 2011), the United States is ranked 46th in the world for infant mortality rate, and it has continued to drop over the years, while the cesarean rate in the country is rising (it is over 3 times higher than what the W.H.O. recommends) 

Again, I have already said it on Facebook, but I want to reiterate it because I don't think you read it: I know that cesareans save lives. They are a wonderful invention, when used for the right purpose. I know that there are times when it would benefit mom and baby to have a cesarean.  

Below I have listed some relevant articles, statistics, and studies that would help you better understand what I have said above. But above all, I stress these two documentaries the most (and these links allow you to watch it online for free):

The Business of Being Born: http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/business-being-born/

Pregnant in America: http://www.hulu.com/watch/235715/pregnant-in-america

There are 47 other helpful links on this website, address everything from birth politics, to cesareans, to making informed decisions (complete with statistics and studies):

http://www.hencigoer.com/articles/

I'm not posting those links to make you change your opinion on birth, I just want you to know why I chose the birth I did. If you have further questions, I would be happy to talk. But if all you want to do is ignore what I have tried telling you and still keep the same hostility towards me, than there is nothing more I have to say to you. I would prefer the former option, though... :)

Take care and good luck,

Julene

Get Ready, Get Set

You know how excited you get when you create something, and you want to show it to everyone? 

Or how anxious you get when you see a really great movie and you want all of your friends to see it too?

Multiply that by 100 and that's how excited/ anxious I am for my family to fly up from Las Vegas too see Kaden this weekend for his baby blessing. Also they are helping us move into our own place... Lots of exciting things going on this weekend! 

Oh, and I will finally be seeing my brother Jacob after his two year mission in Germany. 

I just wish all my extended family (or as we say it, the whole fam damly) could see Kaden this weekend. Hopefully sooooooon!

Questions

What baby pees twice during one diaper change?

Does he do it on purpose?

And did he know that even though I had him covered the first time, that I was without a second cover within arms reach, so I had to finish changing him with nothing to cover him (because once you pee, you generally pee out all you have, right?)?

How can his aiming skills be that good already?

And did he know that smiling and making cute baby sounds at me right afterward would make me melt so I couldn't stay frustrated?

Either way, he's dang good. 

A Different Kind of Business Model

For our latest prenatal appointment, Chris and I waited patiently in the one of the rooms in the Birth Center for the midwife to come in.  While we were waiting, one of the midwife assistants was checking my blood pressure, fetal position, fetal heart rate, my weight, and every other routine thing required at a prenatal visit.  As a side note, this is where we have our prenatal visits every week:

There are two other rooms similar to this. These are the birth center rooms, and all the prenatal visits are done in these rooms so you can become comfortable and familiar with them should you desire to have your baby at the birth center. 

A few minutes later, the midwife walked in with a big smile on her face, "Hey, can I join this party?" She made a beeline over to me and gave me a big hug. "I'm so happy I get to check up on you this week! It's so good to see you!" This midwife is one of the most happy and bubbly people I have ever met.  She told me it was because she gets to witness miracles almost on a daily basis with every birth she attends, I just think it's because she's genuine. We continued talking, much of it had to do with final questions about the birth as we get closer to the due date; she wanted to make sure we were as prepared as possible.  The rest of the time, however, we just talked. She got to know us better, and we got to know her better.  And I loved it.   45 minutes later, she stole one more big hug from me, and we were on our way.  I am actually quite excited that I get to share my birthing experience with her. 

This is one thing I have noticed about all my midwife visits (and I have visited with 5 different ones), they spend time getting to know you.  They want you to have the most comfortable birth possible, which includes birthing in the presence of someone you are comfortable with. This goal, however, goes beyond comfort, I have become friends  with them.  In fact, I still keep in contact with my first midwife, Heather, who saw me while we were still in Provo.  She attended my blessingway, and even let us have it at her birth center.   

I got some great birthing gifts from her, and she told me to let her know if she can still help with the birth at all!  These midwives have shown me that they strive to reach to you beyond your normal business relationship... it is a support system, a friendship, a sisterhood.   

Even though my birth philosophy may not be the typical, socially accepted American model of birthing, I have been fortunate enough to discover an enormous support system of other midwives, doulas, childbirth educators, birth assistants, lactation consultants, and even other mothers who share my birthing philosophy.  All are eager to help and ready to connect with you and your beliefs. One main testimony of this comes from my experience with my midwives, my childbirth educators, my doula, and my placenta encapsulator who all informed me that if money was an issue, they were willing to work around the cost because money is not why they work. They do what they do because they believe in it.   

That type of business is rare these days, which makes me want to stay connected to it even more.  This entire pregnancy has been a real eye opener to all the wonderful women out there who are so ready to support other mothers, which is exactly the reassurance that pregnant moms need...  

What an experience this pregnancy has been. Sad to say that it's almost over, but I'm so excited to meet my little man, and to continue connecting with other moms through my own experiences.

Friday Movie Night

Staying in this Friday night? No problem! Come watch a movie or two with me! I'll even bring the popcorn.

Mmmm... wasn't that good? 

Now shhhh... the movies are about to start...

If I can look half as good as this woman does during and after birth, I will be proud. Well, I guess having a baby would be a proud moment too 

I love the labor support the husband gives in this video. Beautifully done.

Kaden's due date is in exactly two weeks... but who knows when he will really get here. I think that is what I am most anxious about... the when.   There is one person who is more anxious than me though, and he is currently talking to my belly while I am typing, saying, "Kaaaaaaaden..... This is your daaaaaaaaaddy..... WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO COME OOOOOOUT????"

Just Beautiful

This is my most favorite birth video. I cry every time. 

Why Yes, I'm Planning on a Home Birth....

...and If I hear one more person tell me how brave  I am, I just may lose it.

 When people tell me that I'm brave for doing a homebirth, I know that they mean well, which is why I am not confrontational with them. But honestly, a girl can only take so much. While someone may mean it as a compliment, it can easily be taken as an insult, because more often than not,  telling someone that they are brave usually can only be interpreted as:

Wow, you are so brave... I could never do something like that. 

To which I want to say:

"Oh really? Why is that?"

Well, because it hurts more and it's not as safe, right?

Actually, no.... it is more often than not quite the opposite.

I am not birthing at home because I want to show everyone just how tough I am, and I am not trying to make any kind of point.

******

What's even more irritating is when someone tells me:

 "Well, I just want to have my baby in the hospital just in case something happens and there's an emergency."

Here's how I see the conversation playing out in my head (which is far from what really happens):

Me: "Oh, you know, with all this planning that I did for my home birth, I guess I completely forgot about the fact that something might happen. It didn't even occur to me, I guess I will do a hospital birth then. Thanks for enlightening me."

*or*

Me: "So either you think that I don't love my baby as much and I am willing to put him at risk by having a home birth,  or you think that I'm a complete idiot by not taking advantage of all of the medical advances of the time, ensuring a safer birth, right?"

*or*

Me: "Oh, is this from all the research that you have done on the pros and cons to hospital and home births? Or is this just what you think is better because everyone does it? Just like how everyone chooses to enjoy the occasional fast food lunch... because it's not bad for them either, right?" 

Here's the reality:

To birth at home requires planning. Lots and lots of planning.  It takes initiative.  It takes courage to go against the social norm for reasons that you know are best for you.  It takes making your own decisions, and not letting others make it for you. It takes prayer. It takes telling people what you want and not being told. It takes doing lots of your own research, from weighing the pros and cons to hospital birth, to finding the right caregiver, to choosing who you want to attend the birth, to what kind of home birth you want (because there are many), and much more. 

I am not blogging to tell you all the reasons why I chose a home birth over a hospital birth, because I would end up writing a book, and you need to do your own research (but if you want I can provide some insight, just let me know). I am blogging to tell you that I made this choice based on completely educated and meditated decisions.  To completely disregard someone's informed decision just because you think it's not the best option, even though you've done no research of your own, is insulting at best.

Just so everyone knows, I did not always want a home birth. I grew up always wanting a hospital birth with an epidural and everything. Only recently, when Chris and I began thinking about having children, did I begin doing my own research and finding that the best birth option for me was not in the hospital.  

With that being said, I believe hospitals are absolutely wonderful when they are necessary. We are blessed to live in a time where we have such medical advances.  The problem is relying too heavily on these medical advances that we completely lose faith in our own bodies to do what they were divinely designed to do.  

If you want a hospital birth, or have had a hospital birth, great. I am not going to tell you that you are brave, or that you are stupid, because I trust that you made your own educated and informed decisions as to what was best for you and your baby.  All I ask is that you in return respect the educated and informed decision that others make to have a home birth.    

For everyone who is curious, women who chose home births love to talk about why they chose it. If you want to know why I chose a home birth, ask! Just don't tell me that I'm brave :)

An Unexpected Answer

I am nearly 33 weeks along now, which means about 7 weeks until my "due date."  This has made me reflect a lot on just how ready I am for everything: labor and birth, being a mom, and meeting my little boy.  Since day one of finding out I was pregnant, I have been excited for all of it.  I was, however, beginning to doubt myself in one area.  I have been reading a lot of birthing stories lately, with many of them talking about how connected they were to their baby during the pregnancy.  They talked about the love that was overflowing for their baby, and how their connection was extremely strong.  I began to question myself, asking if this is how I felt with my baby.  I knew that I loved him, and I knew that he was mine forever, but I wanted to feel that overpowering love connection with my baby like those I read about in stories.  Is it normal for first time moms to feel that way? Having never experienced a love for a child before, I didn't know exactly if what I was feeling at this point in my pregnancy was normal.

So, I said a prayer.  I told Heavenly Father my concern, and asked Him to help me strengthen my bond with my baby.

Never had I received an answer like the one I received for that particular prayer.

Today I had my first dream about my baby.  It was the most precious dream I have ever had.  In the past, I've dreamed about giving birth, being pregnant, and even breastfeeding, but this dream was different. It was the first one where I knew that the baby I was looking at was mine.

In my dream, I was still pregnant with Kaden, but for some reason, we were allowed to see him before he was born.  I have no idea how or why, but he was able to come out for a small visit, and then would have to go back in my belly to keep growing.   So there Chris and I were, meeting Kaden for the first time.  I let Chris hold him first, because all I wanted to do first was to look at Kaden.  With Kaden's head resting on Chris's shoulder, I stood behind Chris so I could look at Kaden's little face.  And that's when his eyes opened for the first time.

"Oh, Chris! His eyes are open!"

"Ooo! I want to see!" Chris walked over to the mirror to look at Kaden in the mirror, since he was still resting on Chris's shoulder.

With me still behind Chris, I looked again at Kaden, and that's when he saw me for the first time.  He looked at me, and just smiled.  He wouldn't stop smiling.  And in his smile, I could tell that he knew I was his momma.  In that moment, we were connected.  I could feel a huge amount of love for him wash over me instantaneously.

I realized that I had felt this love for him all along, it was just never given the opportunity to surface until now.  With this newly realized love, I am now more excited than ever to meet him in real life.  I never expected an answer to my prayers like that.  Heavenly Father knew exactly what I needed, and he let me see Kaden in a dream to answer my prayer.  What an amazing experience.

 I remember every detail about Kaden too.  His smile was beautiful.  He had bright blue eyes, short and fuzzy light brown hair, and he was wearing blue and white striped pajamas. 
 

Hold It...

So far, I have gained a grand total of 40 lbs during this pregnancy... FORTY FREAKING POUNDS!!!! But as far as I can tell, it's not showing anywhere else but the belly.

But here is the real kicker....

This little guy will be at least double his current weight before he is born. I still have around 9 more weeks to gain lots more pounds.  Any guesses as to what my total weight gain will be??  I'm not surprised if I go over 50 to be honest. 

According to babycenter.com, I'm already 5 pounds over the expected weight that I'm suppose to be at when he is born.   

At this point, all I can really do is laugh. Laugh at me, laugh at the scale, and laugh at their stupid pregnancy weight chart. 

The New Golden Girl

You know you are pregnant when...

You can't remember the simplest of things

Your priorities for clothes shopping are: Comfort first, then fashion

You can't remember if you took your pills this morning, and there's a lot of them

You are eating food that looks disgusting. But you eat it because it's good for you.

You are very good friends with your health care professional, because you go visit that often

You grunt when you bend over to pick something up... and it takes you ten years

Random people are helping you with the simplest of tasks

You complain about your back aching on a daily basis

You are always putting your feet up

You can't get up from a sitting position unless there is something nearby to help you up  (remember this commercial?)

You are buying special pillows for comfort

You are buying special foot mats for comfort

You digestive track is... well... more sensitive

The girls are lookin different

Hey, if these ladies can rock it, so can I

Well, this is awkward...

PROLOGUE:
You may remember that I have recently just gotten over a serious cold/flu thing. Last week, I was just barely starting to feel better.

You may also know that Chris and I work graveyard shifts at work, so we go to bed super late.  This being the case, our schedules are a little different from the normal person.  Let's just say that on a good day, breakfast will be at noon.  School starts later in the day for us, and we tend to miss our first two meetings of church because it's just too early for us (not a big deal since sacrament meeting is the last meeting, so we always make it to that). We have totally adjusted to this before I even got pregnant, so this is normal to us, and don't mind it at all. Other people, however, still think that we are crazy... and that I am stupid for being pregnant and working such weird hours.

People:
"Wow, you are now just eating breakfast? Why are you hurting your baby?"
"You need to remember to get enough sleep while you are pregnant or it can really mess things up for you and the baby!"
"Wow, you work really late! (pause for judgmental look...)"
"Chris, why are you making your pregnant wife pick you up from work at midnight???"

Really?? You know my personal life THAT well, huh?


If you really knew me, you would know that health is my top priority, and has been for years... even to the point of bugging Chris sometimes! I spent an entire summer doing nothing but researching what is healthy for pregnant women and their developing babies.  I'm not trying to sound like an expert, I just want everyone to know that maybe I know what I am doing!

Note to all: Just because I work late doesn't mean that I wake up early. Thank you very much.  I still have a regular work/sleep/eating schedule, it just starts later in the day than most people.

** Now on to the story**

Last Monday (when the worst of the illness just got behind me), someone from church began chatting with me on Gmail. This person is also pregnant, a few weeks behind me, I think.

Person: "Hey, Julene! How are you feeling?"

Me: "Starting to get my energy back now, thanks! How are you doing?"

Person: "I know the feeling, isn't it a miracle? I'm doing much better, thanks."

Pause for thought: Wait, what is she talking about? I'm just now getting over an illness.  Was she sick too?  

Then she chats again : "Remind me, how far along are you?"

Pause for more thoughts: Ohhhhh, she is probably wondering why I haven't been in Relief Society...  (it hits me) She is talking about morning sickness, thinking that I've been too sick to come to church...  AWKWARD.  Do I say something at this point? Or just keep rolling with the conversation , so that none of us look stupid?

I totally kept going with the conversation (I'm so bad sometimes). We just kept talking about our pregnancies and how excited we both were, blah blah blah. 

Funny thing is, I haven't had any morning sickness. First couple of months, I occasionally got nauseous... that was it (thank-you summer research).  But I guess everyone at church thinks I am having the worst pregnancy ever.  Oh well! 

*** By the way***

I guess I better get these pictures up before they get out-dated.

22.5 weeks here. Baby is around 11" long from head to bum. 

Side note: These pics were taken yesterday right after church. The same day at church when the bishop came up to us and said that he misses seeing us, and a lady in the Relief Society presidency went out of her way to come and talk to me about nothingness after sacrament meeting.  Apparently everyone thinks we are THAT couple in the ward. 

On This V-Day

I wasn't really looking forward to today.

Not because it is Valentine's Day.  I actually didn't even really think about that much... BUT I did look forward to all the cute heart cookies I made and gave to people!

I didn't make the ones in this picture, but they looked a little something like this:

That was about as excited as I got for Valentine's Day. We just didn't really plan anything this year, and Mondays are quite busy for the both of us. 

Here's why I wasn't looking forward to today: it was a looooong day. I got up extra early to go visit my midwife who is 30 minutes away, then I came back ten minutes before I had to walk to school.  Then I was on campus all day. Then we took Chris's mom to the airport (I actually didn't mind that one too much because I got to relax and eat and have good conversations... plus I love my mother-in-law!)  Then we got really hungry on our hour drive back from the airport so we had dinner at Arby's. Yup. There it is. My Valentine's Day was sexy.  

But here's the thing...

I actually LOVED today.

I forgot about school. I was only half paying attention in my classes today. Starting my day off with a visit to my midwife was amazing. I drove in warm and sunny weather to her place, had a great appointment, and I listened to my baby's heartbeat... on Valentine's Day. Can you say cute?

Happy Valentine's Day to me

Today was also the day that for the first time, I felt the kicks from the outside.  So there I was, in class, and the baby was kicking up a storm. It's a little hard to focus on the lecture when someone won't stop kicking you from the inside. So I thought it would be fun to place my hand on my belly while the kicks were going on. Then, all of a sudden, BAM! 

This image immediately went through my mind:

I felt it on the inside and the outside. Ohhhh my goodness.  In like 2 seconds I sent a text to Chris telling him what happened. He was way excited, and one of the first things he did when he picked me up from school was put his hand on my belly.  I felt the outside kick 3 more times while on campus today.

In other news... I'm pretty sure I tore some muscle in my foot while doing yoga. When you are pregnant, a hormone in your body makes everything more flexible (to prepare for birth)... and you are cautioned to be careful with overstraining yourself. I didn't think I was overstraining myself, but apparently I was while doing this little pose....

I now have a slight limp.  I can see it now: "Hey look! The pregnant gimp!"... don't make fun. 

I caaaaan't wait....

This baby couldn't have come at a better time. It's almost like we planned it like that, or something!  But really, it is such a nice transition from school to home-life for me. The only problem is... I have to wait.

Don't get me wrong, I love that I can be in school and get an education, and I am grateful for the opportunity, because not too many people even have that.  I love learning, too. I just don't love standardized learning. I want to learn about things I like, not things that someone else thinks I should learn about. And I want to learn it on my own time.  Basically, I am tired of being in school. There. I said it.

This is me on the inside when I have school work to do...

And honestly... I HATE when I have to stop cooking dinners to finish a school project. I HATE it. We don't eat well around finals time.

Now that I am married, I am anxious to do what I know I would be better at. No more school, I want to be a mom and a homemaker. Take care of my kiddos, try new recipes at least once a week, keep the house clean, and teach my kids valuable skills.  It is there that I know I will contribute to society, not school.  Some people are better at being in school, and are great at challenging themselves with the next standardized test.  Some are great at going to work all day. I want to work at home. With my kids. I want to raise my kids, that is why I am having them. I'm not having kids just to send them away to a preschool all day, to be raised by someone who just wants my business. Nope.

So why am I even in school? Well, I want to finish what I started. I put in a lot of work and money into school the past few years, and I don't want to just stop half way through.  I also want to be an example to the kiddos. (Go to college, kids!)

So now that I am almost done with school (just a few months left!), I don't want to waste any time with getting my homemaking on!  To finally do something I know I will be good at!  I'm being really impatient. I want it to happen now. I just have to endure the next few months...

And then, this will be me every day...

Okay, maybe not... the heels would wear on my after a while. This will probably be me...