TMI Part II

Warning: If you are extremely... dainty, don't read this. You will probably think less of me if you do. 

Being over 34 weeks pregnant has its advantages...  For instance, the baby is so big you can really interact with him while inside the tummy, which can be super cool!

But it also has its disadvantages. One of these is the lack of storage space that you have to deal with. Specifically, space to store your farts.  If you gotta let one go, it's comin' unless you try really really hard to wait for a more opportune time... but, seriously, it can be exhausting to try that hard all the time.  And if a mom tries telling you that pregnancy didn't make her fart more, like a lot more, she is lying.

So, unless I'm at church or something, I have just stopped caring as much. I'm already pregnant, how much more unsexy can I get? Don't answer that. The result:

I have farted so loud that it startles the baby. 

Yes. There. I said it. I know this because it usually happens when he is completely still, maybe even sleeping. Then he jumps up at the exact same time wind is broken, and then he'll be completely still again. It's actually quite hilarious. 

Then, there are times when I fall asleep before Chris, and he may stay awake next to me doing work on his laptop.  One particular time, he told me that I was farting so much in my sleep that it was like listening to a pod of whales.

A POD OF WHALES.

For those of you who need to be reminded... here is an example of what a pod of whales can sound like. 

To which I slowly respond while half awake: 

"Imagine if I was swimming in water... then I could propel myself."

His loud laughter woke me up the rest of the way. 

And the best part of the story?  It hasn't even happened yet... because I'm having a water birth.