The Bateman Baby Blog

I recently posted a picture on Facebook stating some sad, but serious facts about the cesarean section trend in the United States. This sparked some expected comments from friends who have received c-sections, which is fine. But I also discovered two unexpected, rude, and uncalled for comments from an acquaintance and her husband. This is what she had to say:

Ouch, right? I will admit, this hurt for a few days. So many friends came to my rescue while I was still trying to make sense of it. I let others on Facebook continue on in the thread, defending my birth choice, while I stewed over what I wanted to say to her, and how I was going to say it. So many thoughts went through my head. Since her attack was so emotional, I wanted so much to be emotional back... but I knew that it would only do more harm than good. I decided to take this opportunity to share with her almost everything I knew about the choice I made, and then some. So I wrote her a nice long, cordial message.

I posted this message for all to see because I want it to stop.Whether they or silent or spoken, I want all the harsh and ignorant judgments to stop. I want as many people as possible to see inside the point of view of one mother who decided to do a home birth. I know that Heather's comments are probably how most people feel towards home birth, but they choose to say it with a little more tact. However, I think if you open your eyes, you will find that there are more of us than you think. So to anyone who still thinks that home births are stupid, I direct you here:

Heather,

You comment confused me a little because it seemed as though I have hurt or offended you or Jordan. Believe me, that was far from my intentions. Either way, I am sorry if my post struck a personal chord with you, and I am sorry if I somehow hurt your family. I frequently post birth and pregnancy tidbits of information, and it is not intended to offend, but to raise awareness. My overall goal is for every mom to be able to make the most informed choices about pregnancy and childbirth as possible, and this is why I make these posts. I have frequently posted about how I am grateful to be living in a time where our medical technology is so far advanced, and when they are used in the correct circumstances, they can absolutely save lives. It doesn't matter to me whether or not women choose home birth, a natural birth in a hospital, or a cesarean. As long as they know that there are many options out there, and that they have the ability to make informed choices, that's all that matters.

I want you to know that 3 years ago I thought exactly like you do. I told Chris that I wanted to have an epidural in the hospital and everything. However, when we began to try to have a kid, I took upon myself the responsibility to research every birth option possible to make sure that I was making the best pregnancy and birth decisions for our family. We prayed and pondered about our decisions a lot, and I am confident that the decisions we made were confirmed by the Lord.

There are some things in your comment that I would also like to address. (Again, I don't want you to think that I am personally attacking you, you and Jordan are very nice people and you have been great friends to Chris in the past, and I have no reason to dislike you or offend you). I want to begin with the very last thing you said, because I think once I address that, it will give everything else I say a little more credibility.

1) "You should do more research."

As I said, once Chris and I began preparing to have a child, I began my research. I have been researching every and all aspects (not just the one I chose) of pregnancy, birth, and postpartum for a little over two years now. It has become a hobby for me, and I am still researching it, even after Kaden was born. I have read over a dozen books, watched 3 birth documentaries, read countless articles and statistics, attended 3 childbirth classes (one of which was by someone who teaches in a hospital), I am a member of 7 online birth groups and am connected with over 1,000 birth professionals and women who have had every type of birth imaginable, and I am in communication with them daily. I have helped about 8 women with their own pregnancy and birth research, watched countless birth videos of all types, and I have kept a pregnancy and birth blog for almost a year now. It seems like you have done your own research to help form your own strong opinion on the matter, so if you think I have missed a scope of research, or if you know of any other research that I can get my hands on to further my ongoing education on the matter, I would accept it with open arms. So please share!

2) "I'm pretty sure that most women and children died from giving birth before our medicine was advanced"

If more women and children were dying than were being born, our population would not have increased over the ages, but the human race would have died off. So logically, most women actually had healthy babies throughout history. I personally believe that Heavenly Father created the female body to be fully capable in its natural and intended form to be able to birth children. Women were not created to have defective uterus's. However, I do believe that Heavenly Father also blessed our time with medical advances that gives us the capability to aid mothers and children who truly need help, cesareans are one of these advances.

3) "Why put your life and child's life at risk for selfish reasons"

What is selfish about wanting my baby to have the best birth possible? Research and prayer have told me that home birth was the healthiest and best option for me. The fact that the United States spends the most money on healthcare than any other nation, and is 46th in the world for infant mortality, with 98% of births occurring in the hospital, logic would suggest that there is something wrong with the United States birthing trend as a whole. Statistics aside, most people picture midwives to be these really old ladies who just come over to catch a baby. This does not do them justice. Midwives are required to go to nursing school, and are then required to go to an additional two years of special schooling in order to be state certified nurse midwives. They come prepared with a lot of medical equipment, and are constantly monitoring both mother and baby with their medical instruments throughout labor and birth. In fact, after I birthed Kaden, I nearly fainted. The midwives hooked me up to an IV and I was fine. Midwives are trained to help prevent a lot of birth complications that occur in the hospital, and are trained to know when it is necessary to transport the mother to the hospital if necessary. Most midwives make sure that the mothers are within a reasonable distance (10-15 minutes) to a hospital before labor at home is considered. In the event of a medical transport, it could take 15 minutes to go to the hospital, on the way there, the midwife will contact the hospital and tell them to have an operating room ready by the time they get there. If a cesarean was necessary at the hospital, it could take around 30 minutes to prepare mom for surgery. Therefore, the amount of time lost in the event of an emergency at home is zero, and no added risk was done to the mother.

4) "Your baby could have died from being in such a stressful labor for such a long period of time."

I need to begin this segment by telling you that there was absolutely nothing stressful about my birth whatsoever. I created a birth plan that would allow for peace the entire time. I was completely relaxed and in tune with my body, and I had people ready to help when I needed them. I had studied natural labor and birthing techniques to help me experience the least amount of pain. I was able to labor with absolutely zero fear and with complete confidence and faith. Giving birth to my son was one of the most spiritual experiences of mine and Chris's life. Kaden entered the world perfectly calm, and Chris and I grew closer together. There were no bright lights, no cold metal objects, no strangers rushing around, no one talking over me or telling me what to do. The lights were dim, everyone was silent, I caught my baby and brought him right up to my chest, right where they were intended to be immediately after birth.

My labor wasn't long, either. Natural labors, from early labor to when the baby is born, will spend on average between 12 and 36 hours in labor... and that is normal and expected. My labor was only 22 hours from the very first Braxton Hix contraction to the very last one, and I was only pushing for 30 minutes. To me, though, I felt as though the entire experience was only 5 hours. When the female body is left to do what she was designed to do, and in her own unique way, she will experience the least amount of pain possible, and in the least amount of time possible. Only when she is intervened and interrupted will her natural instincts shut down and her hormones halt, and her body will not flow in the rhythm it was designed to. As a result, she will need more interventions to help her body along, and many times this ends up in a cesarean birth. So no, my body was in the right place and was doing the right thing for me and my baby, and I wouldn't change anything about my birth.

5) "You wanted to be all macho and do a home birth"

I wrote a blog post on this very subject: http://thebatemanbabyblog.blogspot.com/2011/06/why-yes-im-planning-on-home-birth.html

All I can add to what my post already says is that your statement is nothing more than an incorrect assumption, and frankly, to have someone who doesn't know me tell me that I love myself more than my baby is one of the most disgusting and insulting things that anyone could say to me, or any mother for that matter. I would lay my life down for my baby, as I'm sure you would. I chose a home birth first and foremost because I wanted a peaceful experience surrounded by people who love me and believe in me so that I could focus on my body. If you really knew me, you would know that I had my baby's health at the top of my list of interests the entire time.

In the hospital, women are told to lay down on their backs. With the exception of hanging upside down, this is the worst possible position she could be in to birth naturally. This puts pressure on the pelvis, reducing its expansion capability by 30% (making it much harder to push baby out), and puts pressure on the artery in your back that feeds your heart and the placenta, which could lead to lowered heart rate for you and baby, which could lead to a cesarean, which could have been avoided if the mother was allowed to labor the way she wanted. Laying on the back in labor is simply a modern medical trend that only benefits the OB so they can catch the baby easier.

Also, a note to Jordan: Sorry, I should have been more clear with that other picture of the

U.S.

being ranked #34. Yes, I am aware that there are more than 34 countries in the world. The reason that they all weren't included is because that was the list of industrialized nations. It would be unfair to compare the United States healthcare with 3rd world countries for obvious reasons. However, that table was created in 2008, so I wanted to find a more recent one with all of the countries included, and I found this: https://www.cia.gov/library/publications/the-world-factbook/rankorder/2091rank.html

In this table (created in 2011), the United States is ranked 46th in the world for infant mortality rate, and it has continued to drop over the years, while the cesarean rate in the country is rising (it is over 3 times higher than what the W.H.O. recommends)

Again, I have already said it on Facebook, but I want to reiterate it because I don't think you read it: I know that cesareans save lives. They are a wonderful invention, when used for the right purpose. I know that there are times when it would benefit mom and baby to have a cesarean.

Below I have listed some relevant articles, statistics, and studies that would help you better understand what I have said above. But above all, I stress these two documentaries the most (and these links allow you to watch it online for free):

The Business of Being Born: http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/business-being-born/

Pregnant in America: http://www.hulu.com/watch/235715/pregnant-in-america

There are 47 other helpful links on this website, address everything from birth politics, to cesareans, to making informed decisions (complete with statistics and studies):

http://www.hencigoer.com/articles/

I'm not posting those links to make you change your opinion on birth, I just want you to know why I chose the birth I did. If you have further questions, I would be happy to talk. But if all you want to do is ignore what I have tried telling you and still keep the same hostility towards me, than there is nothing more I have to say to you. I would prefer the former option, though... :)

Take care and good luck,

Julene

This seems to be Chris's favorite thing to say lately.

I frequently ask help from Chris when he is home from school: "Hey, can you watch Kaden real quick while I go do this thing?" Usually, Kaden is asleep. Other times, he is just chillin, so I don't feel too bad about asking a quick favor. I legitimately try and hurry most times, because I know there is no substitute for a mommy. However, every time without fail, Kaden somehow becomes "unbearable" and I have to stop what I am doing to come and take Kaden from Chris. Sometimes, it is his own dang fault, other times, Kaden mysteriously starts fussing. But sometimes, Kaden isn't fussing at all.

"Hey Babe, you almost done? Kaden needs his mommy."

"Okay, I'm coming." *rushes over* "He looks fine."

"No, he is getting fussy."

"No he's not... he's smiling right now."

"Well, he was just making a frownie face right before you came over here."

*****

Every time, I know Chris is done watching Kaden by the same simple line: "You almost done?" I could be doing things like:

Folding clothes... "You almost done?"

Taking a shower... "You almost done?"

Making dinner... "You almost done?"

Doing dishes..."You almost done?"

Getting dressed... "You almost done?"

GOING TO THE BATHROOM... "You almost done?"

Going grocery shopping... "You almost done?" This happened today actually... I get a phone call half way through my trip telling me to hurry. So I hurry. Then I get another phone call while I am at the check out: "Hey, Kaden is asleep now, so you can take your time..."

The other day, however, I was addressed with a new line. Kaden was sound asleep and Chris just got home from class. I asked Chris to watch Kaden while I hopped in the shower. "Ya no problem. You can take as long of a shower as you want. Take a nice relaxing shower."

"Really? Um... Okay! Cool!"

About halfway through my shower, just as expected, I get a knock on the door. He said I could take a long shower, could he possibly be asking me if I am almost done? Maybe he is asking if the dishes in the dishwasher are clean. Because, NO, I am not almost done."

I cringe, waiting for him to ask the question. But it doesn't come. Prepare yourselves, because he did NOT ask me if I was almost done! Nope. Instead I was greeted with a very informative statement:

"You might want to start thinking about wrapping it up."